


Urges

by EmmzyPlayz



Series: JhinShen Series [1]
Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21639640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmzyPlayz/pseuds/EmmzyPlayz
Summary: Shen has been helping Jhin hold in his urges for the last six months. The question is, how long can he keep it up before he snaps? And, can Shen stop him?
Relationships: Khada Jhin/Shen
Series: JhinShen Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1577824
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	Urges

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bekkomi](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Bekkomi).



> Inspired by: Saints - Echos
> 
> Gift for: Bekkomi
> 
> Bekkomi, thank you for being an inspiration to me and other artists/writers in the League of Legends community. Also, thank you for introducing me to this ship <3

Remission wasn’t an easy thing. Shen knew this, which is why he should be proud of Jhin for going six months without relapsing into his normal tendencies. However, he wasn’t proud at all. He was troubled. Six months Jhin had been with him at the Kinkou Order Monastery and for six months he’d struggled with his urges to create his… _art_. During those months, Shen had been helping him control them through meditations and other forms. At first, Jhin had been hesitant, unwilling to change at all, but Shen had coaxed him into trying. He could see that Jhin had potential for change. He sensed it within. Jhin just had to be willing to try…and Shen had managed to get through to him to try. So, why Shen was troubled was another story.

In the time Shen knew him, Shen learned that Jhin was a very broken man. Someone who used his art to both express himself and quench those urges he had. It was a matter of teaching Jhin to control those urges. Urges that in Jhin’s own words felt like a hunger in his belly that was clawing its way up his throat till he caved into the need to kill and create those beautiful flowers he loved. This was why Shen was troubled. Jhin’s urges. The last few weeks had been…rough to say the least for the man. Shen had found him on more than one occasion muttering to himself during his meditations and more recently, he had to stop the man from scratching his arm bloody. He was worried for Jhin. He didn’t know if he was doing more harm than good to him, but he had to try to help him. Which was why he was both going to check up on him and congratulate him for making it so far.

He took a deep breath as he stopped outside of Jhin’s room. The door was closed, and Shen had to take a moment to think over what to say to congratulate him. He wasn’t exactly the type to make a big deal of such things, but for Shen…Jhin mattered and that’s why he cared so much. He knocked on the other’s door, waiting patiently before he heard Jhin call for him to come in. He entered the room, closing the door behind him and found it was quite dark. He frowned slightly, not liking the unease he was feeling. “Jhin?” He said, before he noticed him sitting at his bed. There was just enough light for him to see what the other was doing.

He was hunched over and facing Shen. He was wearing his mask again, which he sometimes did when he wanted to close himself off. However, Shen was more concerned that he was holding Whisper. He hadn’t held that gun since his arrival, Shen having instructed him to not touch it until he was completely cleared to. “Jhin…” said Shen carefully, watching Jhin run gentle…almost loving fingers over the barrel of the gun.

“Do you know how difficult it has been to control these urges?” asked Jhin quietly. “Six months…six months without my art. Do you know…how painful it is to stop myself from pulling the trigger?”

“Jhin…” said Shen quietly as he careful edged towards the man. “It’s okay…it is going to get worse before it gets better-“

“How long?” Jhin snapped, and Shen paused. Jhin had _never_ lost his temper like that before. Had he pushed the former serial killer too far with his methods of attempting to calm the beast within him? “You keep telling me these things…but they’re lies aren’t they? Lies that you use to keep me sane so you can torture me more by attempting to _cure_ me.”

“That isn’t true, Jhin. I am not lying to you, I promise,” Shen tried to assure. “I would never lie to you, Jhin. Please just put Whisper away, and we can-“

“Stop right there,” Jhin said sharply, pointing the gun right at Shen and clicking the bullet into place. He held Whisper steady, Shen staring down the barrel of the gun as Jhin rose to his feet. “Why should I indulge you in even having a conversation? Do you know how easily I could just pull the trigger and satisfy this desire?” He walked forward, backing Shen up till his back was against the door. “Six months you forced me to abide by your rules…all I want is to take back that time you stole from me.”

“Then do it,” said Shen quietly. “But if you are going to do it-“ He reached out carefully, pulling the mask away from Jhin’s face. He let it fall to his side, staring into Jhin’s eyes. “Look me in the eye as you do. Don’t be a coward, Jhin. I know you. You’re better than this. You’ve worked so hard…you’ve progressed in leaps and bounds…but look at you now. If you pull that tigger, there is no going back. You may kill me…satisfy those urges for now…but you and I both know it will get worse than it is now. Don’t let it consume you, Jhin.”

Shen could see the hesitation. The doubt…the fear. He knew Jhin was mulling over his words. He also knew Jhin wouldn’t pull the trigger. Not on him. He would regret it if he did. He waited before slowly raising a hand and pushing Whisper aside. He was silent as he disarmed Jhin, kicking the gun far into the corner and dropping the mask in his other hand. He slowly pulled the man into a hug, hushing him gently as he trembled in his arms. For Shen it is a breakthrough, for Jhin, it feels like weakness as a strange liquid stings at his eyes. He blinks them away as they drip down his cheeks, and Shen holds him just a little tighter. “I have you…” says Shen, and Jhin breaks. He cries for the first time in as far back as he can remember. He doesn’t know what this is. Why he is feeling this way.

From as far back as he can remember, all Jhin wanted was to pull the trigger of his gun and make those beautiful pieces of artwork. Those decadent flowers from each shot. To hear the screams as the people he killed danced for him while trying to run. He’d given into that urge to kill. The urge to take human life. But now, here he was…changing. Slowly, but surely Shen was changing him, and Jhin was scared. Scared for himself, scared for the future. He knew he could slip up at any moment, but here Shen was…staring Whisper dead in the eye and flirting with dead. But…he wasn’t scared. He believed in him. He clung a little tighter to Shen, anchoring himself to the man. He let him whisper reassurances in his ear, let him hold him, let him be there for him…and Jhin was relieved and happy for this. Happy to have Shen, because with Shen…Jhin knew controlling himself wouldn’t be so difficult.


End file.
